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13 Key Differences Between Punishment and Discipline
- July 15, 2023
- Posted by: Jouré Rustemeyer
- Category: CPD Courses Disabilities Discipline Special Needs
13 Key Differences Between Punishment and Discipline
Discipline. It’s a word we often hear in the context of raising children, maintaining order, or achieving personal goals. But what does it really mean? Is it synonymous with punishment? Or is there more to this concept than meets the eye?
In this blog post, we will delve into the depths of discipline – exploring its definitions, synonyms, techniques, origins, and so much more. Whether you’re a parent seeking effective strategies for guiding your child’s behaviour or an individual striving for self-improvement, understanding the key differences between punishment and discipline is crucial.
So buckle up and get ready to explore how discipline can be a powerful tool for growth and development – not just for our little ones but also within ourselves. Let’s dive right in!
Merriam-Webster: Definition and Synonyms of Discipline
According to this trusted source, discipline is defined as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.” In other words, it’s about instilling self-control and learning from mistakes.
But discipline is not just limited to punishment. It goes beyond that. It’s about teaching and guiding individuals towards a desired behaviour or outcome. And when we think of synonyms for discipline, words like training, control, orderliness come to mind. These terms remind us that discipline is more than just a means of enforcing rules – it encompasses a holistic approach towards personal growth and development.
In our quest for self-improvement or raising well-rounded children, implementing effective disciplinary techniques becomes essential. We need strategies that promote positive behaviour rather than promoting fear or coercion. This broader perspective on discipline allows us to foster resilience and self-discipline in ourselves and those around us.
So let’s remember that while punishment may have its place in certain situations, true discipline involves much more than simply punishing wrongdoing. It involves nurturing a sense of responsibility, empathy, and accountability within ourselves and others. By embracing the multifaceted nature of discipline, we can create an environment conducive to growth and lifelong learning.
Common Techniques and Forms of Discipline
There are strategies that aim to teach children appropriate behaviour, promote self-control, and foster a sense of responsibility. One widely used technique is positive reinforcement, which involves praising and rewarding desired behaviours. This approach motivates children to repeat those actions in the future.
Another commonly employed method is setting clear rules and expectations. By establishing consistent boundaries, parents provide structure and guidance for their children.
Time-outs are also frequently utilized as a disciplinary tool, giving kids an opportunity to calm down and reflect on their behaviour. Time-outs, however, should not be used on young children. This sends a message that you are not prepared to be there for them when they are in crisis or when they misbehave. This can lead to feelings of rejection, abandonment and unworthiness, which at a young age can be “saved” as fact, instead of being recognised as a feeling. This can lead to difficulties at a later age. Time-ins are more recommended. Time-ins are a positive child guidance strategy in which the caregiver stays with the child until they are both calm and can communicate about the issue at hand.
Some parents opt for natural consequences as a means of discipline. This involves allowing children to experience the natural outcome of their actions so they can learn from them. An example of a natural consequence is that if you do not put your clothes in the washing hamper, you don’t have clean clothes to wear. This should NEVER be used in a way that is danger to a child. A natural consequence of drinking cleaning fluid is that you get sick, but this is NOT a way that natural consequences should be used.
Logical consequences, on the other hand, entail imposing related penalties that directly relate to inappropriate behaviours. An example of this is if your child speaks disrespectfully to you: The logical consequence is for you to ignore the comment or request she/he is making until she can find a respectful way to say it. A quick, “I will respond to your request when you speak kindly to me” might need to be said one time, but should not be repeated over and over again.
Additionally, time management techniques help instill discipline by teaching children how to manage their time effectively.
When it comes to disciplining your child, it’s important to approach the process with care and consideration.
One key strategy is setting clear expectations and boundaries. Clearly communicate what behaviour is acceptable and what isn’t, so your child knows exactly what is expected of them. Consistency is also crucial in enforcing these rules.
Positive reinforcement is another valuable tool in discipline. Instead of focusing solely on punishment for negative behaviour, make sure to praise and reward good behaviour as well. This helps reinforce positive habits and encourages your child to make better choices.
Redirecting behaviour can be a helpful technique when dealing with challenging situations. Rather than simply punishing your child for misbehaviour, try guiding their attention towards a more appropriate activity or redirecting their energy into a different task.
It’s also important to remember that discipline should be age-appropriate. Different strategies may be necessary depending on the developmental stage of your child.
Keep in mind that discipline should always come from a place of love and respect. It’s about teaching your child right from wrong rather than simply controlling their actions through punishment.
Thesaurus: Synonyms and Antonyms of Discipline
When it comes to discipline, finding the right words to convey its meaning can be important. That’s where a thesaurus can come in handy. It offers a wide range of synonyms and antonyms that can help us understand different aspects of discipline.
In exploring the synonyms of discipline, we discover words like control, self-control, regulation, orderliness, and restraint. These words highlight the idea of maintaining order and behaving in a responsible manner. They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and following rules.
On the other hand, if we look at antonyms for discipline, we find terms such as chaos, disorder, anarchy, rebellion, and indiscipline. These opposites shed light on what happens when discipline is lacking or absent. They remind us how crucial it is to instill discipline in our lives and society as a whole.
Exploring the Meaning of Discipline
Discipline is a concept that holds different meanings for different people. It goes beyond simply punishing or correcting behaviour; it encompasses the ideas of teaching, self-control, and personal development.
Discipline is not just about external control but also internal motivation. It involves setting clear goals and taking consistent action towards achieving them. Discipline requires focus, commitment, and perseverance in the face of challenges.
In this context, discipline becomes a tool for growth and success rather than a means of punishment. It helps individuals develop self-discipline by creating habits that support their goals and values.
Discipline also involves holding oneself accountable for one’s actions and choices. It means being responsible for both successes and failures, learning from mistakes, and continuously improving.
Discipline is not something imposed upon us but rather a mindset we choose to adopt. By embracing discipline as a positive force in our lives, we can unlock our full potential and achieve greater personal fulfillment.
So next time you think about discipline, remember that it is more than just rules or consequences; it is an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.
Harmful Effects of Spanking and Tips for Different Age Groups (Infants, Toddlers, Preschoolers, Gradeschool-Age Children, and Adolescents & Teens)
Discipline plays a crucial role in shaping the behaviour and character of our children. By understanding the key differences between punishment and discipline, we can create a nurturing environment that fosters growth and development.
While punishment focuses on retribution and control, discipline emphasizes teaching and guidance. It is about setting clear expectations, providing consistent consequences, and promoting positive behaviour choices.
Spanking as a form of punishment can have harmful effects on children. Instead, they recommend using effective strategies for disciplining children at different age groups. For infants, it is important to establish routines and provide a safe environment. Toddlers benefit from redirection and distraction techniques. Preschoolers require clear rules with logical consequences. Gradeschool-age children may respond well to loss of privileges. And for adolescents & teens, open communication and negotiation are essential.
Remember that every child is unique, so it’s important to tailor your disciplinary approach accordingly while maintaining love, respect,and patience throughout the process.
By embracing positive discipline techniques rather than relying solely on punitive measures,
we can guide our children towards becoming responsible individuals who make good choices even when no one is watching.
Discipline and Disabilities
Discipline vs Punishment
Before we can look at the differences between punishment and discipline it is important to understand and know if the behaviour we see as “naughty”, is in fact, “naughty” or maybe a consequence of something else (as listed below). Very often behaviour we think needs discipline or punishment is in fact a child that is in crisis, and our own behaviour and reaction to their behaviour can either help the situation, or in fact, exacerbate it.
Children are not their behaviour.
Behaviour
Sometimes the behaviour of someone with special needs can be overwhelming and might cause us to focus our attention to just that behaviour. Behaviour is defined as the way that a person behaves in response to a particular stimulation or stimulus. In other words: behaviour is a reaction to something. Behaviour can therefore not be understood if you do not understand what is being reacted to.
Possible causes of behaviour
Please use the table below to assist/identify possible causes for behaviour.
Behaviour |
What it looks like |
What the causes could be |
Aggression |
· Pushing · Hitting · Spitting · Throwing |
· Poor social judgement · Sensory overload or misperceptions · Frustration over communication limitations |
No initiative |
|
· Poor concept of time · Unable to organise behaviour/tasks |
Discipline |
No response to
|
|
Lacking in play skills |
|
|
Tantrums |
|
|
Sleep |
|
|
Toilet |
|
|
Eat |
|
|
What we should focus on
The following is list of aspects to focus on when working with children that has disabilities that will aid in helping the child as well as the adult understand behaviours:
- Communicative intent: the use of facial expressions, gestures, verbalizations and/or written words to deliver a message.
- Expressive language: a broad term used that describes how a person communicates their wants and needs. This includes facial expressions, gestures, intentionality, vocabulary, semantics (word/sentence meaning), morphology and syntax (grammar rules).
- Receptive language: the ability to understand information. Understanding words, sentences and meaning of what others say or what is read.
- Abstract language: (the opposite of tangible that things we know through our senses) this refers to intangible qualities, ideas, and concepts. These are words that indicate things we only know through intellect, e.g., truth, honour, kindness, grace.
- Brain integration: getting the different parts of the brain to work together to process information and effect responses.
- Cognitive skills: brain-based skills we need to perform any task, from easy to complex.
- Fine and gross motor skills: fine motor skills are small movements that require the use of the muscles in your fingers, toes, wrists, lips, and tongue. Gross motor skills are big movements that require the large muscles in your arms, legs, torso, and feet.
- Self-help skills: the actions of bettering oneself or overcoming problems without the aid of others (independence).
- Perceptual development: the process of taking in, organising, and interpreting sensory information to make informed choices and decisions.
- Play skills: some children need to be taught how to play. Play is important for learning as children learn about shapes, colours, cause and effect, and themselves through play. It also helps a child to learn social and psychomotor skills (coordination, manipulation, dexterity, grace, strength, speed). It provides a means for the child to develop and a process by which social and physical skills develop.
The difference between punishment and discipline
Discipline and punishment are not the same thing. Discipline is the practice of training someone to behave in accordance with rules or a code of behaviour. The word, discipline, comes from Latin disciplina (teaching, learning or instruction) and discipulus (disciple, pupil). In other words, to discipline means to teach. To teach is to show and explain how to do something. It focuses on teaching the desirable future behaviour.
To punish is to inflict suffering for the past behaviour.
The brain is divided into three main regions:
- Unconscious brain – controls bodily functions such as breathing, heartbeat, digestion, fight or flight reaction and other survival functions without our conscious effort.
- Subconscious brain – also called the emotional brain, is responsible for strong emotions such as fear, rage, separation anxiety, caring, nurturing, etc.
- Conscious brain – also called the thinking brain, it is where learning, reasoning, problem-solving, decision-making, or sophisticated thinking takes place.
So, the difference between discipline and punishment is that discipline involves the thinking brain whereas punishment has an impact on the emotional brain. Gestalt therapy teaches us that children that do not have effective communication skills yet can “save” a negative emotion as a fact in their minds. Therefor it is possible that the negative thoughts that a child experiences during punishment (separation anxiety, fear, abandonment, rejection, etc), whether verbal or physical, may be stored as fact and can have a serious impact on their emotional development and later lives.
Effective discipline helps children learn to control their behaviour so that they act according to their ideas of what is right and wrong, not because they fear punishment. For example, they are honest because they think it is wrong to be dishonest, not because they are afraid of getting caught.
The purpose of punishment is to stop a child from doing what you do not want the child to do —and using a painful or unpleasant method to stop him/her.
There are basically four kinds of punishment:
- Physical punishment ‑ slapping, spanking, switching, paddling, and using a belt or hairbrush.
- Verbal punishment ‑ shaming, ridiculing, using cruel words, saying “I don’t love you.”
- Withholding rewards ‑ “You can’t watch TV if you don’t do your homework.”
- Penalties ‑ “You broke the window, so you will have to pay for it with money from your allowance.”
The first two kinds of punishment, physical and verbal, are not considered to be effective discipline methods. The other two, withholding rewards and giving penalties, can be used either as effective discipline methods or as punishment—depending on how they are administered.
In summary, the 13 key differences are:
Discipline |
Punishment |
Never send a misbehaving child away from you as punishment. Children that “misbehave” need you more in that moment that when they do not. |
Gets angry at the child for unacceptable or “naughty” behaviour and sends the child away from them in anger. |
Can be used with teenagers |
Cannot be used with teenagers |
Sets a good example of effective ways to solve problems |
Teaches the child that violence is a way to solve problems |
Helps the child learn self-control |
Teaches the child to deceive |
Emphasizes what a child should do and why. |
Emphasizes what the child should not do without reasons why. |
It is a process that is ongoing. |
Is a once-off event. |
Sets a loving and patient example. |
Always insists on being obeyed. |
Leads to independence, self-control, and self-regulation. |
Causes dependence on others and hampers independence. |
Encourages the child to want to change and to understand why. |
Makes the adult feel temporarily better. |
Understands and accepts that a child has the need, and should be able to, assert him/herself. |
Forces the child to conform. |
Shows the child how to think for him/herself and let them do it. |
Thinks for the child. |
Enables the child to have positive self-image and concept. |
Gives the child an inferiority complex. |
Moulds the child’s behaviour with love, patience and care while helping the child understand the process and reasons. |
Condemns behaviour and makes the child feel “wrong” without understanding why. |
Since consequences of actions can be difficult for a special needs child to understand, disciplining them with well explained consequences for their action is the most effective form of discipline. Consequences teaches responsibility as well as being learning experiences.
Consequences
The two main types are:
1. Natural consequences – Natural consequences allow children to learn from the natural order of the world. For example, if the child does not eat, he will get hungry. If he does not do his homework, he will get a low grade. Unpleasant but natural consequences are allowed to happen when a child does not act in a desirable way. (This cannot be used if the health and safety of the child is at stake)
2. Logical consequences – Logical consequences are arranged by parents/caregivers. The consequence must logically follow the child’s behaviour. For example, not having clean clothes to wear is a logical consequence of not placing dirty clothes in the hamper.
The use of consequences takes practise and will be unique to every child as every child has unique behaviour.